If I had any common sense, I would be taking advantage of the day I go into work late and sleep in...
I am jaded. I am scared to trust someone. I am always worried I'm going to get screwed over. And 9 times out of 10, that's what happens. I have good reason to feel the way I do.
My first thought is I put too much faith in people. Wearing my heart on my sleeve has done nothing for me. I have this ridiculous belief that all people are inherently good.. *facepalm*
My reasons for being the way I am are warranted. Every relationship I have been in, I've been cheated on in some way, shape, fashion or form. It NEVER fails. And it's the worst feeling in the world. I automatically think "What did I do wrong?" That's anyone's first thought. You always question what you did to make that person go astray. There are a thousand reasons people cheat. The thrill of it. They've lost interest. Just because they want to. They are just assholes and it's what they do. They aren't happy. They can't keep their beef bayonet in their pants. Who the fuck knows. No one can get inside someone's brain and find out exactly why they did it. And most of the time, the cheater can't throw out one decent reason. Not one that will satisfy the one who was cheated on.
Men ruin perfectly good women every day. Now don't get me wrong.. It can go both ways. But the majority of cheaters are men. Why the fuck can't you keep your bald headed yogurt slinger in your pants?? Why date a girl if you KNOW that you just aren't going to be able to be faithful? What the fuck is the point of breaking someone? What is the point of everything that comes with it?
I think I've expressed enough about myself on here for people to figure me out. I am pretty fucking awesome. (CONFIDENCE, not cockiness!!!) I am a good girl who has THE biggest heart and when I find someone I want to invest time and effort in, I give 110%.. I said on Facebook one time that sometimes I wished I was incapable of love and how much easier it would be to be a heartless, cold, soulless bitch. Maybe if I didn't care so much, I wouldn't be treated like a fucking doormat. And sometimes I wish the people who had black hearts and bad intentions would get hit by an 18 wheeler...TWICE. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just shut off every feeling I have and be cold. But I don't know what good that would do me, because unfortunately, it's not who I am.
I hate the way I felt after I found out I'd been cheated on. It's the shittiest feeling in the world. Like I said before.. you question every reason they did it and what YOU did to deserve it. You run through every justifiable reason in your head as to why this happened to YOU. You never did anything to your significant other to warrant something so heinous. Something like that can crust a persons soul. Not for forever but for a damn good while. And then.. If you're REALLY lucky.. you have to go through it more than once. What the fuck?! *SMH* You get over being broken once.. but having it happen again.. and AGAIN.. it gets OLD as FUCK.
Men, you don't just accidentally trip and fall and have your dick land in some other chick. It didn't just "happen". Don't give us that shit. You make a MORE THAN CONSCIOUS decision to cheat. You are in complete control of your one eyed monster. The excuses men use are ridic.
Excuse #1: "I was drunk.." Well, you fucktard.. If you could control your alcohol consumption with what ever common sense you possess, you wouldn't get drunk and fuck some random twat.
Excuse #2: "It just happened.." Bullshit. How does it just "happen"? You are in complete control of your dick. Your little half of a sausage didn't just become possessed all the sudden. It didn't speak to you and (in some evil voice) say "I am going to make you fuck this girl whether you like it or not."
Excuse #3: "I just don't feel the same about you/I don't love you anymore." Well if you had half a fucking brain, you'd be smart enough to BREAK up with the chick before you went and screwed some other broad. DUH! I'd rather a guy break up with me if he knew he was going to cheat than have to deal with the tornadic aftermath of feelings of being told I was cheated on and shit.
There's a ton more excuses, but those are just the ones I thought of off the top of my Rainbow Brite head.
Most excuses guys use are just bullshit. They have no justifiable reason as to why they did what they did. But they sure do try to find one that doesn't make them out to be complete morons. Give it up. No reason you come up with is going to work. Just admit that you can't keep your dick in your pants and that's it. You think with your head, and not the one attached on your shoulders. If you cheat or foresee yourself cheating, you don't need to be in a relationship to begin with.. You don't deserve a good girl who will love you with every ounce of her being. You deserve that slutty prostitute on the corner who will suck your dick fo' a dolla'..
Once again, I have strayed. Oh well. I just hate how I feel after I find out and I hate what it does to me. It makes me not want to trust. And if someone questions why I don't trust guys?? Um, helllllerrrrrrrr. And it sucks. Because one day there will be a guy that CAN keep his little pecker in his pants. And you will question him. You will be hesitant to trust him. You will make a good man suffer for every other man's mistakes. And that's not fair. But that's always how it happens. Good women are ruined and scarred every day by jackasses who just can't keep their pork sword in their Jockeys..
