Sunday, March 18, 2012

I couldn't have said it better myself...

I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.
Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.
I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love.
Some people pass through our lives for a season to teach us lessons that could never be learned if they stayed.
When someone wants to be with you, they’ll be with you. Period. There won’t be excuses, drama, shadiness or uncertainty.
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.
And I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see the love that you don’t feel when you’re holding me. Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right. Just give me till then to give up this fight. And I will give up this fight. ‘Cos I can’t make you love me if you don’t.
Love isn’t about attraction, not about infatuation, not about lust, not about gifts and the length of time you spent together. Bottom line? There’s no reason at all. True love is having to wake up each day feeling so deeply in love and overwhelmingly happy whenever this person is around you without even knowing why. Making you forget about the past, cherish the present and wishing the future would be spending your lives together entirely.
When you kiss someone, everything around you becomes hazy… and the only thing in focus is you and this person… And you realize that this person is the only person you should be kissing for the rest of your life… And for one moment, you get, this amazing gift… And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry… ‘Cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time…
There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don’t go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever.
The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.
You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.
You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.
We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?
You are, and always have been, my dream.
It’s hard to wait around for something you know may never happen; but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.
When you love someone, you love all of them… you gotta love everything about them, not just the good things but the bad things too. The things that you find lovable and the things you don’t.
In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire.
There’s always that one person. No matter how many relationships they’ve had, how many times they didn’t respond to your text, how many times they ignored you, how many times they made you feel like you didn’t matter, how many times you sit on the floor crying because of them, or made you feel like shit; no matter how many times you say they don’t matter, deep down, every time that they text you, look at you, give you a hug, even just say your name; your walls break down and you can’t help but be happy. Even if you don’t want to be.
And the best quote ever..
I love you without knowing when, how or from where.. I love you straighforwardly without complexities or pride. So I love you because I know no other way.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Rogue Beaver Cleavers and 18 Wheelers

If I had any common sense, I would be taking advantage of the day I go into work late and sleep in... 

I am jaded. I am scared to trust someone. I am always worried I'm going to get screwed over. And 9 times out of 10, that's what happens. I have good reason to feel the way I do. 

My first thought is I put too much faith in people. Wearing my heart on my sleeve has done nothing for me. I have this ridiculous belief that all people are inherently good.. *facepalm* 

My reasons for being the way I am are warranted. Every relationship I have been in, I've been cheated on in some way, shape, fashion or form. It NEVER fails. And it's the worst feeling in the world. I automatically think "What did I do wrong?" That's anyone's first thought. You always question what you did to make that person go astray. There are a thousand reasons people cheat. The thrill of it. They've lost interest. Just because they want to. They are just assholes and it's what they do. They aren't happy. They can't keep their beef bayonet in their pants. Who the fuck knows. No one can get inside someone's brain and find out exactly why they did it. And most of the time, the cheater can't throw out one decent reason. Not one that will satisfy the one who was cheated on. 

Men ruin perfectly good women every day. Now don't get me wrong.. It can go both ways. But the majority of cheaters are men. Why the fuck can't you keep your bald headed yogurt slinger in your pants?? Why date a girl if you KNOW that you just aren't going to be able to be faithful? What the fuck is the point of breaking someone? What is the point of everything that comes with it? 

I think I've expressed enough about myself on here for people to figure me out. I am pretty fucking awesome. (CONFIDENCE, not cockiness!!!) I am a good girl who has THE biggest heart and when I find someone I want to invest time and effort in, I give 110%.. I said on Facebook one time that sometimes I wished I was incapable of love and how much easier it would be to be a heartless, cold, soulless bitch. Maybe if I didn't care so much, I wouldn't be treated like a fucking doormat. And sometimes I wish the people who had black hearts and bad intentions would get hit by an 18 wheeler...TWICE. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just shut off every feeling I have and be cold. But I don't know what good that would do me, because unfortunately, it's not who I am. 

I hate the way I felt after I found out I'd been cheated on. It's the shittiest feeling in the world. Like I said before.. you question every reason they did it and what YOU did to deserve it. You run through every justifiable reason in your head as to why this happened to YOU. You never did anything to your significant other to warrant something so heinous. Something like that can crust a persons soul. Not for forever but for a damn good while. And then.. If you're REALLY lucky.. you have to go through it more than once. What the fuck?! *SMH* You get over being broken once.. but having it happen again.. and AGAIN.. it gets OLD as FUCK.

Men, you don't just accidentally trip and fall and have your dick land in some other chick. It didn't just "happen". Don't give us that shit. You make a MORE THAN CONSCIOUS decision to cheat. You are in complete control of your one eyed monster. The excuses men use are ridic. 

Excuse #1: "I was drunk.." Well, you fucktard.. If you could control your alcohol consumption with what ever common sense you possess, you wouldn't get drunk and fuck some random twat. 
Excuse #2: "It just happened.." Bullshit. How does it just "happen"? You are in complete control of your dick. Your little half of a sausage didn't just become possessed all the sudden. It didn't speak to you and (in some evil voice) say "I am going to make you fuck this girl whether you like it or not." 
Excuse #3: "I just don't feel the same about you/I don't love you anymore." Well if you had half a fucking brain, you'd be smart enough to BREAK up with the chick before you went and screwed some other broad. DUH! I'd rather a guy break up with me if he knew he was going to cheat than have to deal with the tornadic aftermath of feelings of being told I was cheated on and shit. 

There's a ton more excuses, but those are just the ones I thought of off the top of my Rainbow Brite head. 

Most excuses guys use are just bullshit. They have no justifiable reason as to why they did what they did. But they sure do try to find one that doesn't make them out to be complete morons. Give it up. No reason you come up with is going to work. Just admit that you can't keep your dick in your pants and that's it. You think with your head, and not the one attached on your shoulders. If you cheat or foresee yourself cheating, you don't need to be in a relationship to begin with.. You don't deserve a good girl who will love you with every ounce of her being. You deserve that slutty prostitute on the corner who will suck your dick fo' a dolla'.. 

Once again, I have strayed. Oh well. I just hate how I feel after I find out and I hate what it does to me. It makes me not want to trust. And if someone questions why I don't trust guys?? Um, helllllerrrrrrrr. And it sucks. Because one day there will be a guy that CAN keep his little pecker in his pants. And you will question him. You will be hesitant to trust him. You will make a good man suffer for every other man's mistakes. And that's not fair. But that's always how it happens. Good women are ruined and scarred every day by jackasses who just can't keep their pork sword in their Jockeys.. 


Friday, March 9, 2012


Rascal Flatts "Stand"







"Cause when push comes to shove you taste what you're made of.. you might bend til you break cause it's all you can take.."

Monday, March 5, 2012

Fuck No! Periods and Brotips

Alright fuckers. I'm taking a break tonight. Tonight is about funny shit. Thanks to the fabulous world of Facebook, I've found some hilarious shit. These websites are a must.

The first website is for girls. Ladies.. I have one word: Mother-fucking-nature. :)

http://fuckno-periods.tumblr.com/

The second website is for the men folk out there. This shit is spot on. Learn from it. 

http://brotips.tumblr.com/

I'm going to be pretty pissed if you read this blog and are like "I'm not going to look at this shit." Click that fucking link!!!!!!!!! 


Sunday, March 4, 2012

What exactly is that shit?

Merriam Webster defines love as : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

Who in the fuck uses those definitions for love? I sure as hell don't. 

Yeah, it's a logical definition for love. But if you think about it, what does love mean to the average person? 

To me, it depends on the type of love.. We have love for our kids, our family, our friends, etc. But obviously the type of love I am focusing on is relationship love. 

I see love for the opposite sex in many different facets. Let's say I meet someone. We date, hang out, whatever. The more time we spend together, the more you learn about that person and the more you see the things you like about them.. Or in some instances, it's just not happening for you and you go your separate ways. I think the defining moment of actually realizing you are in love with someone hits you 938570243 different ways. 

Me, for instance... Little things matter most. Having someone around that is accepting of how much of a wild child I am, is really paramount. I'm WEIRD. Let's face it. If you know me, I'm a fucking reeeeeeeeeeetard. I am all over the place, I'm loud, obnoxious (at times), spunky, crazy, off the wall, insecure, goofy, romantic, outgoing and cheesy. I really do march to the beat of my own drum. I have a metric shit ton of tattoos, and pink, blue, black and purple hair that I regularly wear in the same piggy tails I did when I was knee high to a grasshopper and missing my two front teeth. I tell stupid ass fucking jokes and there are times where I just make NO damn sense at all. Anyone who can embrace it, enjoy it and appreciate it.. you just scored MAJOR brownie points. I'm a handful.. Like seriously.. I'm a pain in the ass. I make no bones about it! I have an attitude. I can be a bitch. I have my way about doing things and I don't stray from it. BUT.. as long as I'm not provoked or pushed to go into bitch mode, I'm pretty damn awesome. Fuck that, I'm bad ass. And don't mistake that for being conceited. It's taken me a LONG time to be comfortable with who I am.. I think Marilyn Monroe said it best "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” That shit is right on the money. I pretty much just have this 'fuck you' attitude to anyone who doesn't like the way I am or complains about it. But if you can see past ALLLLLLLLLLLLL that shit and still think the sun shines out of my ass (props to Juno for that little snippet), then you have some cajones and it's all the more reason I'd be inclined to love the shit outta you. 

Given my bad ass attitude, I'm a hopeless romantic. I believe in PDA, pet names, affection (and lots of it).. I am the type of girl who will bend over backwards for the person she loves and as I said before.. I go balls deep and love 110%. I believe in spoiling the person that I am with.. not just monetarily (even though I'm pretty much a broke ass bitch), but emotionally and mentally.. Really any capacity... I am the ultimate giver. Unfortunately, not everyone is like me. And that sucks.. Cause when you don't give someone your best (granted, they have to earn the right to get your best), it's not a fair relationship. I can't give someone all I am and not get the same back. It just doesn't work for me. It's the equivalent to giving a meth head some vicodin. It just ain't the same.. and while it might work a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit, it's not going to satisfy that craving/want/need, et cetera... I need someone who is on my level. And why should I have to settle for anything less?

Fuck. I think I went a little off the whole subject. Yay for rambling. :) 

So back to being in love.. There's always that one moment where a fucking light goes off in your head and you are like "OH FUCK. I love this person. I'm IN love with this person." It's that moment of twitterpation. (If you fucktards dont know what twitterpaited is, I suggest you watch some damn Bambi.) Maybe they do something that just blows your mind. Maybe it's waking up next to them and realizing that you could do that for the rest of your life. Maybe it's how they always make sure you get the last little bite of their most favoritest ice cream.. or they let you hold the umbrella when it's raining and they suffer through the whole soaking wet ordeal. Maybe it's the time where you are sick as fucking dog and they don't care.. they just take care of you... Everyone is different. Hell, I'm sure what would make me fall in love with someone isn't what makes you fall in love. I mean, shit, you might fall in love with the way someone wipes their ass. I don't fucking know. But when it happens, you know. 

And fuck your life when it happens. Then you are faced with the whole "Omg-I-just-realized-I-love-this-person,-now-when-the-fuck-do-I-say-it-because-I-don't-wanna-say-it-and-look-like-a-complete-idiot" sitch. Then you go opening your big mouth, saying "I love you" and they just look at you and go "Aww. Thanks" or some fucked up shit like that. If that happens, you just wanna go crawl under a huge ass rock.. Or better yet, you just wanna shoot yourself in the fucking face because you feel like a fucking retard. That's a bitch. Me, personally.. I refuse to say it first. I might know beyond a shadow of a doubt, but I'm not fucking saying it and looking like a jackass. Stupid, right? FUCK that. Now, I've said before.. why hold back on saying something that you might not get to say tomorrow. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah. I know. But still!!!!! Think about it! We spend out whole life making sure we don't make complete asses of ourselves. But saying "I love you" isn't some paltry ass shit! That's life changing kinda crap. 

Ugh. Fucking dilemmas. This is one of those times I hate and love love at the same time. It's so damn complicated but it's the most awesome shit in the fucking world. 

I leave you with one of the most bad ass fucking quotes to ever be said.. 
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." 

I'm out. It's time for an Uncrustable and a YooHoo. FUCK YES. 

Thursday, March 1, 2012


THE most amazing song.. EVER. 


It explains everything.... <3

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed that I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more



Bullshit!

"There is no lonelier man in death, except the suicide, than that man who has lived many years with a good wife and then outlived her. If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it." - Ernest Hemingway

OK, not necessarily. Mr. Hemingway, peep this... 

Say I'm married to a fucking awesome person. I love him, he loves me and we have our idea of a perfectly imperfect marriage. Yes, my ass is gonna die. And he will kick the bucket eventually too. And one of you is gonna do it before the other. Sure, that's sad. But what about all the in-between? So what if you are going to end up 6 feet under one day. That doesn't mean that everything in the middle of the beginning and the end was totally in vain. 

So, as we all know, you spend an ample amount of time weeding through all the men/women you come across in your formative years, trying to find the person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Once you find them, you snatch their ass up and lay claim to them so that no one else can have what you want. Cool. Then after you take the walk of shame, you're on voluntary lock down. You spend the next 394,875,394,785 years together doing God knows what. 

But that lock down is the best mistake you ever made. You are smitten with them and every other man/woman is just one of those pixelated blobs walking around. You've got tunnel vision when it comes to your spouse. This is the person that you are comfortable with in your own skin. This is the person who would go with you if you wanted to go break dance on a sheet of metal in the middle of an epic storm. This is the person who would still love you if you tried to dye your hair blond and it turned out green and fell out in patches. This is the person who would let you shove Cheetos up your nose and not look at you like you were a complete idiot. This is the person who wouldn't care if you wore flip flops in 234 inches of snow if you were so inclined. This is the person who laughs at your jokes no matter how stupid they are. This is the person with whom you could sleep in the same bed, even though they farted in their sleep and snored like a fucking freight train. This is the person who loves you at your worst but sees all the best things in you and about you.. WHAT about that wouldn't make someone able to die happy?! 

If I had someone who loved me for me, HOW could I die unhappy, knowing that I had a kick ass marriage to a bad ass husband that loved me implicitly?! Impossible. 

Think about the people who die without ever having experienced that kind of love. Dude! They are missing out on some awesome ass shit! I'd be more pissed at myself for never having experienced hard core love! "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.." (Or something like that..) YES! A-fucking-men. I feel sorry for anyone who has never had that good, true, twitterpaited love. They just don't know what they are missing.

So, eff you, Mr. Hemingway. I bet you were one of those people who died never knowing what it was like to have that kick ass love... Either that or you just got pissed off that your wife died before you and you didn't have anyone to lay in bed with you after sex and make random wildlife noises. No wonder you wrote dumb shit like that.

~FML. First for real blog, and it's an ADD blog. Oh well. Fuck it. Tornado aftermath status, right here, bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!