Who in the fuck uses those definitions for love? I sure as hell don't.
Yeah, it's a logical definition for love. But if you think about it, what does love mean to the average person?
To me, it depends on the type of love.. We have love for our kids, our family, our friends, etc. But obviously the type of love I am focusing on is relationship love.
I see love for the opposite sex in many different facets. Let's say I meet someone. We date, hang out, whatever. The more time we spend together, the more you learn about that person and the more you see the things you like about them.. Or in some instances, it's just not happening for you and you go your separate ways. I think the defining moment of actually realizing you are in love with someone hits you 938570243 different ways.
Me, for instance... Little things matter most. Having someone around that is accepting of how much of a wild child I am, is really paramount. I'm WEIRD. Let's face it. If you know me, I'm a fucking reeeeeeeeeeetard. I am all over the place, I'm loud, obnoxious (at times), spunky, crazy, off the wall, insecure, goofy, romantic, outgoing and cheesy. I really do march to the beat of my own drum. I have a metric shit ton of tattoos, and pink, blue, black and purple hair that I regularly wear in the same piggy tails I did when I was knee high to a grasshopper and missing my two front teeth. I tell stupid ass fucking jokes and there are times where I just make NO damn sense at all. Anyone who can embrace it, enjoy it and appreciate it.. you just scored MAJOR brownie points. I'm a handful.. Like seriously.. I'm a pain in the ass. I make no bones about it! I have an attitude. I can be a bitch. I have my way about doing things and I don't stray from it. BUT.. as long as I'm not provoked or pushed to go into bitch mode, I'm pretty damn awesome. Fuck that, I'm bad ass. And don't mistake that for being conceited. It's taken me a LONG time to be comfortable with who I am.. I think Marilyn Monroe said it best "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” That shit is right on the money. I pretty much just have this 'fuck you' attitude to anyone who doesn't like the way I am or complains about it. But if you can see past ALLLLLLLLLLLLL that shit and still think the sun shines out of my ass (props to Juno for that little snippet), then you have some cajones and it's all the more reason I'd be inclined to love the shit outta you.
Given my bad ass attitude, I'm a hopeless romantic. I believe in PDA, pet names, affection (and lots of it).. I am the type of girl who will bend over backwards for the person she loves and as I said before.. I go balls deep and love 110%. I believe in spoiling the person that I am with.. not just monetarily (even though I'm pretty much a broke ass bitch), but emotionally and mentally.. Really any capacity... I am the ultimate giver. Unfortunately, not everyone is like me. And that sucks.. Cause when you don't give someone your best (granted, they have to earn the right to get your best), it's not a fair relationship. I can't give someone all I am and not get the same back. It just doesn't work for me. It's the equivalent to giving a meth head some vicodin. It just ain't the same.. and while it might work a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit, it's not going to satisfy that craving/want/need, et cetera... I need someone who is on my level. And why should I have to settle for anything less?
Fuck. I think I went a little off the whole subject. Yay for rambling. :)
So back to being in love.. There's always that one moment where a fucking light goes off in your head and you are like "OH FUCK. I love this person. I'm IN love with this person." It's that moment of twitterpation. (If you fucktards dont know what twitterpaited is, I suggest you watch some damn Bambi.) Maybe they do something that just blows your mind. Maybe it's waking up next to them and realizing that you could do that for the rest of your life. Maybe it's how they always make sure you get the last little bite of their most favoritest ice cream.. or they let you hold the umbrella when it's raining and they suffer through the whole soaking wet ordeal. Maybe it's the time where you are sick as fucking dog and they don't care.. they just take care of you... Everyone is different. Hell, I'm sure what would make me fall in love with someone isn't what makes you fall in love. I mean, shit, you might fall in love with the way someone wipes their ass. I don't fucking know. But when it happens, you know.
And fuck your life when it happens. Then you are faced with the whole "Omg-I-just-realized-I-love-this-person,-now-when-the-fuck-do-I-say-it-because-I-don't-wanna-say-it-and-look-like-a-complete-idiot" sitch. Then you go opening your big mouth, saying "I love you" and they just look at you and go "Aww. Thanks" or some fucked up shit like that. If that happens, you just wanna go crawl under a huge ass rock.. Or better yet, you just wanna shoot yourself in the fucking face because you feel like a fucking retard. That's a bitch. Me, personally.. I refuse to say it first. I might know beyond a shadow of a doubt, but I'm not fucking saying it and looking like a jackass. Stupid, right? FUCK that. Now, I've said before.. why hold back on saying something that you might not get to say tomorrow. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah. I know. But still!!!!! Think about it! We spend out whole life making sure we don't make complete asses of ourselves. But saying "I love you" isn't some paltry ass shit! That's life changing kinda crap.
Ugh. Fucking dilemmas. This is one of those times I hate and love love at the same time. It's so damn complicated but it's the most awesome shit in the fucking world.
I leave you with one of the most bad ass fucking quotes to ever be said..
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
I leave you with one of the most bad ass fucking quotes to ever be said..
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
I'm out. It's time for an Uncrustable and a YooHoo. FUCK YES.
Well.. Alright.. As a great thinking man C.S Lewis reasoned "Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved ones well being as far as it can be obtained" I dont think love can be defined and you are correct. There are a million different types of love. The love that you have for your favorite sonic blast isnt the same kind that you experience when you decide to make yourself completely vulnerable to another person. There is no reason to try to define what love is, its not meant to be defined or to be reasoned into understanding. I've been involved in several relationships during the course of which I decided that I loved the person for various reasons that I didnt really understand at the time and it didnt turn out to be unequivical reciprocated love but I was open to it and it felt good so why not. People use the word love to describe a variety of emotions. Most of the time two people meet, get along, realize that they have enough in common to tolerate each other for extended periods of time and they figure love is the right word for how they feel so thats what they call it and end the day on it feeling like they have found what they are looking for. Three months later they realize that the person they met and fell in love with isnt who they thought they are and they break off whatever it is they have going on and go their seperate ways. People are the sum total of their life experiences. The majority of the time what people know and have dealt with and been exposed to defines them as a person. True compatibility only occurs when two people meet that have had similar life experiences and have come to view things in similar ways. But I also think that it takes conscious effort to love someone. You have to choose to love everything about a person, to love the crust of a mother fucker. To love them during a bad mood, or when they look like shit or after they got in a car wreck and lost their legs. That's a choice you make when you decide that you love someone and are going to commit to loving them for the duration of your life. I still havent figured out at what point it is when I am going to decide that I am willing to forsake all others and dedicate myself to creating relative happiness for another person. Single wide trailer with holes in the floor and no tv type of love is a huge undertaking and responsibility. When you tell someone you love them like that and they let their guard down and decide to love you back with every ounce of their being its more or less a bilateral contract in which you find someone that you care for and you agree with them that you both are going to invest equally in each others happiness and always be there when they have a family function that they need a date to. Love is an awesome feeling. Being twitterpaited with another person is a high that everybody is chasing and few people ever actually get ahold of at a decent price.
ReplyDeleteBoooyow (or however you spell that word)!!! First comment! Yes, I'm the nerd that just made a reference to my comment being the first one. But I'm also the nerd that wrote a full page of commentary and initially posted it on your facebook wall as opposed to putting it in the comment section that was designed for what, kids? That's right, comments.
ReplyDeleteVery nice Messica. I do enjoy your rambling style of writing. And your oh so casual repeated use of the word "fuck" in all it's different forms. :)
As far as your subject matter, I don't really think that there is a correct way to define romantic love—at least not in a nice neat composite way that can be packaged to fit into the limited space of a dictionary definition. Just like you said that there were "938570243" different ways to realize you're in love with someone, there is an equal number of different ways to define love. Everyone would likely explain it a little bit differently. That's not to say that the divergent definitions wouldn't all be describing the same thing. But I think it goes back to what you alluded to in your blog—there comes a specific point in time when you realize that you love someone. I think that a person's individual definition of romantic love might include something about how they first came to realize that they were in love with someone.
I think that one of the easiest ways to realize that you're in love with someone would be at the point that you start to recognize someone's copious amount of idiosyncrasies and realize that it's the very quirks about them that others might find annoying that you find that you can't live without. In other words, it's when you recognize that what other people describe as flaws about someone are the very things that you adore about that person.
Of course that's just a somewhat simple characterization. But that's the joy of trying to describe a feeling that amazing, electrifying, and perplexing all at the same time. There is no right answer to the question, and no matter how many different ways you illustrate it verbally, there's always going to be another way to expound upon it.
Wow, that turned into a long diatribe awfully quick. Sorry that I once again wrote you a book to read. Have a wonderful night my dear. I'll see you in the morning.
BTW, that's a great picture of you on your blogspot profile.
thesamekindofdifferent: You spelled unequivocal incorrectly. :)
ReplyDeleteKnowing you like I do, I know that we feel the same in many aspects as far as love goes. You and I want the same thing and are not willing to settle in that regard. It's just getting around to become so vulnerable as to let down every guard we have, putting faith in that one person to give their all and then some.. Letting someone in in such a capacity is daunting and ultimately the scariest thing we could ever do.. But it's a risk you have to be willing to take.. God forbid you miss out on the opportunity to have someone love in the same way you want to be loved. Of all the wonderful things that life has to offer, you can't beat single wide trailer, holes in the floor, no tv, twitterpaited, balls deep love. That is the exact kind of love I have to give.. and I think you know this better than anyone. <3
Cornstock: Btw, thank you. :) Your apology for that diatribe is graciously accepted. I know you have a very strong view point as far as love goes.. I would hope that whatever person chose to give me a chance could be so accepting of my idiosyncrasies, just as I would be accepting of theirs.. I think that if you couldn't it would be a waste. There are so many things that draw a person to another and every one is different in the things that they find appealing. What one may consider a positive trait, another may not. Love is no one particular thing, but many, all conjoined in what we feel. To each his own, ya know? :)
And one more thing.. thesamekindofdifferent: Parts of me are inclined to say you HAVE let down your guard just a wee little bit and that you have exposed certain vulnerable parts of yourself.. Timing and circumstance are the only reasons the walls are being reinforced. But you always have the option of putting it back in the box for now.. maybe, just maybe, to be opened at a later date and time.
ReplyDeletei just want to know why everyone is trying so hard to figure out what love is instead of living it... yes, i understand that a lot of people are single and still looking for that but from my own personal experience, it comes when it's supposed to. the old saying "God has a plan. you have a plan. God laughs at your plan." EXACTLY! live your life to the fullest, the best you possibly can. when the time has come to meet your match, it'll happen. for those who know me well, what i'm about to say may sound crazy coming from me, but i've lived and learned it... HAVE SOME FUCKIN PATIENCE PEOPLE! rush into finding someone and then rush into a relationship and trying to be in love with that someone and you will rush to the end also. BUT (yes i know grammar nazis) when you meet that person that you without a doubt know is YOUR MATCH, rush like hell cause you don't want to waste another minute living without them. anyways, i personally think everyone's view on love is correct because everyone loves their own way and no one person can define it. don't knock my grammar, at least i capitalized God! <3
ReplyDeletep.s. i still can't believe i didn't think of "messica"
ReplyDelete